If one of my kids hit a bad situation and needed help, and I couldn't get to them, I would hope someone in their community would provide honest and reliable help.what right to I have to hope for that if I don't do the same thing? I don't do it bc of religion bc I am not observant but I still believe in karma. I like to think that I am cynical but I am not heartless. It may sound silly but my "dad gene" apparently never turned off once my kids grew up and moved out. I am 60 and I know my limits and what I can/can't help with. I have been pretty successful over the last 5 years but picked the wrong person once or twice fortunately they didn't cause significant problems and I got them out before they could. I usually find people that need help via Craigslist but it can be like riding a bicycle in a demolition derby to find the one person who really needs and deserves help and won't take advantage. I also hope you are never taken advantage of by those who would do so without a second thought. I hope you're able to make a positive change in every life you touch. I'm in a desperate situation and every facet of social media could be an opportunity to find hope but I've completely written off one of the largest forums in the world. But exposing any fragility just begs for abuse so I'm hesitant to even try. I personally don't care about putting my location up. Location is helpful but a safe forum to discuss needs/ resource availability openly seems like an impossibility.
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Most subs clearly state not to do that and yet, it happens and my post gets downvoted into oblivion before a mod even responds. And when I can put myself out there, I'm just berated by other redditors. I know what I need and I know what I can do in return but most subs don't even allow for me to put a post out there in case someone with the ability to help exists. Though I don't completely agree with you, I do appreciate your feedback.Īs someone who needs a specific thing, i find Reddit to be useless af.
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Obviously, people posting are smart enough to know their own comfort level and what they are looking for, and are free to take or leave my suggestion. Shelters aren't the safest places either and require common sense as well. Giving some money or a few hours to a shelter would not have had that kind of impact. I never realized how bad off she had been when she moved into my basement until two years later when her mother actually thanked me for saving her daughter's life. and now has a kid with a good stand-up guy. She was in my house about 2 years, got her bearings, etc. I had a previous young lady who was basically homeless and a bit of an emotional mess because her alcoholic boyfriend threw her out of his house. This arrangement also gives them a foster family, if they want, with me and my adult kids.Īnd yes, the help can be that important. I can forego rent for someone but I can't afford to give someone or donate that kind of cash, especially on a regular basis. And affordable housing in MD is almost non existent. Finished basements in my area of Maryland rent for $600-$700 a month. Giving a few hours or a few dollars is definitely good but I am talking offering life changing - in some cases life saving help for someone who wants it. Fortunately, in her case she had the job and apartment but I have abuse hurt a loved one firsthand so I am not naive. I have dealt with it in my family.about 5 years ago I traveled about 500 miles to help my oldest daughter get the court system to get an abusive freeloader out of her life. Of course everyone needs to use common sense. And unfortunately I think anyone who is going to be abusive online will do it with or without a general location. And I am not naive about abuse but simply posting you're in Maryland or Western Pa,etc.
The ones in the shelter are safe but there's more than the shelter can handle. Homeless and/or women looking to escape abusive relationships. And of course everyone involved has to be safety conscious.
My point is trying to find someone who may slip through the cracks.If someone here wanta more direct help, others need to be able to reach out. I absolutely know there are people in need in my area and my state in need. As you pointed out, there's no shortage of abusive creeps here (or on Craigslist, which is where I usually find people and can be just as sketchy for people offering space as needing space). I agree with your safety concerns and intent but not completely with your method. So we can agree to disagree civilly because we all ultimately have the same concern.
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